Bitter Sweet

Bitterness comes easy. We live in a world where a positive outlook is hard to maintain. So quickly we fluctuate between feeling full and blessed to feeling empty and dejected.

I was thinking about someone’s bitterness recently and how I wished they’d let it go – not because it was outwardly offending me but because this person I really care for was suffering under the weight of it.

I took it to the Lord in our quiet time. I trust when I come to Him, He will respond. And my goodness, on certain days, He responds so strongly and so deeply in my heart that I am overcome by the assuredness of His care.

Leave it to the Lord to speak kindly to me of my own bitterness when I came to Him to talk of someone else’s. I didn’t even see it coming. I was, once again, unaware of the state of my heart…and how badly I needed the kind of revelation and healing only my God can provide.

See, while I was thinking about a very blatant anger someone else was exuding, I was ignoring an ugliness settling into my own heart…blocking my blessings…stealing my joy.

And with gentle and loving kindness, my Father revealed to me what He wanted to take from me…

to set me free.

I choose to share it with you now in the hopes you’ll come to understand God’s heart for you.

***

At times, I feel resentful. Because of the locusts. You know what I mean, friends? At times, I only see what they’ve eaten…what they’ve taken away from me…what very little they’ve left.

My life is not the picture I thought it would be…and there’s still much I wait for. Yet God assures me in His Word He will restore to me the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25).

As I wait, and sometimes believe I’m waiting patiently and with a trusting heart, I actually begin to see I’m operating from bitterness instead of blessing. This is not who I want or choose to be. But sometimes, my pain is too big.

But who can’t get on board with a God who loves us enough to help us carefully examine the most hidden chambers of our hearts…so that we may see the very things that threaten our well-being? When we confidently turn it over to Him, we find the strength to…

let…it…go.

This process isn’t nearly as painful as you’d think. Sure, there will probably be tears. And we’ll probably have to think on some things we’d rather not. But when you go to those places with the God who loves you, you don’t go there alone…

and you leave forever changed.

My sweet readers, if you feel embittered by your own locusts and indignation is settling into your heart, don’t be afraid to ask Him to show you something better. Take His hand and allow Him to lead you into the feelings you’ve hidden so well, you barely recognize when they’re taking over. He might show you disappointment, disgust, unforgiveness, resentment, envy or even the anger you carry for God Himself. But He’s not scared by it. He’ll allow you to speak your heart and He’ll speak back. With a solution. Whatever the ailment, He has the cure. A life lived in bitterness is no life at all. The moment you release it to His care, you’ll wonder why you waited so long because in the surrendering, you make room for Him to come…

and gladly restore what the locusts have taken away.

Taste and see that the Lord is good. (Psalm 34:8)

Advent is a beautiful season and teaches us the gift we can sometimes miss in the “waiting”. Whatever we’re waiting for, let’s not forget the fulfillment is in the Messiah Himself. And let’s be careful not to trade the sweetness of God’s love and healing for the bitterness of holding on to something else. There’s really no comparison. When God restores, it’s hard to remember what it was like to ever live without.