Perfectly Imperfect

Have you ever noticed how it’s just easier to be around people who have no problem being imperfect? I really LOVE being around people like that. It’s like all my shields come down and I just come alive.

This world puts a lot of pressure on us to be perfect. None of us have escaped the weight of this and so on certain days, around certain people, we’ve all caved under the pressure to present a less-than-authentic version of ourselves. We shoot for that relaxed appearance that says, “I am quite pleased with myself”. We take extra measures to seem organized and important. We wait for moments to interject our wisdom. We’re tidy and wrinkle-free…

and we’re miserable.

Because on the inside, we’re just aching to let our guard down. And be loved for who we are.

***

I was recently watching a cooking show starring Valerie Bertinelli. She was preparing a meal for a friend of hers who had been injured and was home recuperating. I don’t know much about this actress. I believe she was once married to a rock star. And I know she got her start on a sitcom I used to watch as a kid. And I know she was gorgeous and thin on that sitcom but later in life, began to struggle with her weight.

Now wouldn’t that just plain stink: to not only struggle with your weight but to do so in front of millions? Maybe billions? Poor girl. For that alone, I give her props.

I think she’s in her fifties now and she appears to be quite comfortable with herself. On this show, she was fully at ease in her kitchen inhaling deeply the scents of basil and fresh citrus while unapologetically tasting every little ingredient comprising her manicotti, kale-hazelnut salad and love cake (something I absolutely cannot WAIT to make for my honey!). Her eyes would light up with every taste experience and roll backwards in sheer bliss. She wasn’t ashamed to take a second or two to savor right there in front of the camera. She would make funny commentary about what she was doing as she’d splash red sauce on herself or spill things on the counter and none of that was edited out. She’d just laugh at herself and say something like, “Well, that’s what I do! I make messes!”

And then the funniest thing of all!:

She had just made a perfect casserole dish full of cheesy manicotti and a beautiful sheet cake for her friend that she planned on delivering later that day and…

SHE CUT SMALL RECTANGLES OUT OF THE CORNER OF EACH TO TASTE THEM!!

Apparently, they just looked too good to pass up!!

As she swallowed the big bites with a sweet smile on her face, she relished the flavor and congratulated herself on a job well done. Then she looked down at her dishes and laughed at the very noticeable holes she left. I thought to myself, “adorable!” and “and so plucky!” Anytime I’ve ever made brownies or a cake for a friend, I’ve ALWAYS felt tempted to do the same thing. But who does that??

I delighted watching her. Because she was just so perfectly imperfect.

Now, I get it. I was watching a TV show and even reality TV show stars are seldom real. But I believe she was being real. Something about her spirit shined and danced through her demeanor. And in her completely comfortable state, she was actually more beautiful than I ever remembered her being before.

There’s something to be said for that kind of self-comfortableness.

It made me think about my loved ones and how they’re at their best when they’re unabashedly content with themselves and their company. I love the smiles that come across their precious faces when they’re just being who they are – without reservation. No acting. No need for acting. Just the kind of joy that comes from the freedom of being known and being loved.

I absolutely believe that’s the BEST way to live; just loving others and loving ourselves through our peculiarities. I don’t always do this well but I wish I did. Usually, when I’m being hard on others, I find it’s because I’ve been particularly hard on myself for quite some time. It seems a huge part of bestowing grace on others is all about the grace we give ourselves.

But if it truly makes life more fun to stop wasting energy on airs and just start living, mess and all, what are we waiting for? If we’re going to make mistakes, might as well laugh our way through them together!

I just wanted to encourage you with that today. Because I know our Father in heaven wants us to walk in the freedom of grace. I believe He smiles and laughs with us when we’re enjoying life, enjoying each other and finding amusement in our innocent shortcomings instead of embarrassment.

So, go ahead!: Lower those defenses and just be who you are, my friend! Because I suspect you will find your family and friends coming in closer when you do. You can be the one who teaches them to be comfortable with themselves just by being comfortable with you! And when you’re savoring in the happiness of those contented moments, give Valerie Bertinelli a little internal shout-out. She may never know her on-screen marinara splattering and nonchalant sampling of other people’s food sparked such inspiration but hopefully she’ll continue to be happy with herself regardless.

And hopefully we’ll follow in her charming example.